A Remarkable Day in June

Two notable actions occurred on Saturday 4th June 2016:
1, Fran and Tom married.
2. I met Vivien for the first time.

The year-long build up to the ceremony had run in parallel with Tom's PhD deadline. Now both have passed. My mother once showed me that when she left work to be married in 1935 an elderly Polish colleague had written in her autograph album "This too, will pass". A strange wedding blessing, but one that she clung to through all the ups and downs of her life - the war, the birth of six children and the loss of two, the unexpected terminal illness of my father and the myriad trials set by we four remaining children.

Tom did not relish the prospect of a religious ceremony as he thinks of himself as aestheist, but he entered into the process with integrity, declaring his concerns from the start.  He said that he could not stand up and say words he did not believe, but it seems there was no need for anxiety. The marriage service was surprisingly simple, recently revised and beautifully choreographed by a smiling Catholic priest.

Words rang true, voices sang strong and Tom's own music resounded from the church organ sending tingles down my spine. Such powerful uplifting music composed by my first born, once the tiny fragile premature baby I was so scared would fall ill, who nearly drowned when I dropped him in the sea, whom I nearly ran over when he pedalled behind my car as I was reversing. And now I saw a man, his university work complete and a new life ahead with a beautiful wife who spoke her vows clearly and earnestly. I am so looking forward to seeing the rest of the story unfold.

If  Tom and Fran had not married, I would not have met Vivien.  For eight years I have had to imagine her, snatching at shady clues dropped in passing references.  And now I have sat and made polite conversation and I don't need to imagine any more. It is so lovely to see Rosy with her dad and we were all pleased to see him again and I hope I will see them both again from time to time.

Steve came too so there was a perfect symmetry. I feel a relief that another milestone has been passed and a bridge has been crossed.

And now that I am a mother-in-law as well as a granny I feel really free. My shoulders feel light so I can play and have fun.  There will be trials ahead no doubt, but those too will pass. Oh lucky me. I am so alive.